It's hard to believe this is the product of the same guy who brought us movies like Tenebrae and Suspiria. Phantom of the Opera was neither dark nor clever, nor...well, anything. I'm not sure what Argento was attempting to do with this movie other than showcase his daughter, Asia Argento. Critics mark it down as macabre, chilling, haunting, and so on, but in actuality it's quite boring. A formal apology should be given to Gaston Leroux in the afterlife for defiling such a work of art.Too bad I can't end my first month of Horror Dose on a high note, but Slasher Franchise Month is just around the corner, and we'll be kicking it off with Friday the 13th! Plus, I'll be finishing up Laymon's Midnight Tour tonight--it's been a while since I've reviewed a horror book on here.
Anyway, back to the title at hand. So, the plot deviates from the original and we get a Fabio-esque phantom who lurks in the catacombs and was raised by telepathic rats. Huh? Yes: telepathic rats! I should've read the synopsis before watching it, but I was so elated to find that Dario Argento had done a remake of this classic that I dropped it in the queue and anxiously awaited its arrival. Unfortunately, the performances are as lame as the plot entails. If you want to watch a good movie about rats raising children, check out Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles instead.
Argento's Phantom of the Opera has a handful of gory scenes, but seems unsure of itself while trying to mix the macabre with romance and fun.
Review Soundtrack:
Incubus - "Redefine"
Yngwie Malmsteen - "My Resurrection"
Dave Matthews Band - "The Dreaming Tree"
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We recently reviewed this on Tower Farm Reviews and had a very hard time deciding if this or the 80s Robert Englund version was worse. Both of them score huge points with nonsensical plots and very, very bad lip-syncing.
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