Offspring (2009)

Doesn't come close to doing the book justice (imagine that), but it does have that raw edge I've come to expect from Ketchum. Mostly decent acting.

Grace (2009)

Overall, I enjoyed this movie. But I do think its weaknesses were rooted in the fact that the film tried to do too much in the way of subtexts: feminism and vegetarianism in particular. Because of these two focuses, we the audience were subjected to frame after frame of pointlessness and male characters so dreadful it took away from the believability of the movie--the acting in the first 15-20 minutes or so was especially rigid.

What I did like about the movie was the gloomy atmosphere (I refuse to believe the Animal Planet inclusions had anything to do with that, by the way), Jordan Ladd (whom I have admired since Cabin Fever), and the horrific visual gags centered around the premise of the movie as outlined in the plot. This is one I definitely need to watch again in a month or so, now that my expectations have been set (lowered?).

Sheitan (2006)

Uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh??????????????? What?!

Rogue (2007)

Just as in Greg McLean's Wolf Creek, this is about atmosphere, mood, cinematography. Sure it has solid acting, tense moments, and a tight pace, but it still doesn't display creativity or originality.

Cache (2005)

Fifteen minutes in I was sleeping like a baby. Obviously, a slow build with this one. I'll try to watch it tonight or tomorrow night. Anyone else seen this one yet? Does it pick up a little?

(Two days go by.)

Well, I just finished this proclaimed masterpiece, and I am left with nothing good to say. Perhaps this would've made a better book--the "visual" aspect of cinema was not utilized at all. Nothing happened save for constant dialogue, a few quick flashbacks, and an out-of-nowhere slicing (is this the "intense" moment alluded to by the comment below?).

It's hard to say this about a movie from Funny Games director Michael Haneke, but this is a severe disappointment not worth the time.

Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)

And here I was thinking the calamity couldn't be any more tumultuous than The Evil Dead or Drag Me To Hell! In true Sam Raimi style, characters are tossed, slammed, whipped, thrown, jostled all over the screen and covered in all manner of liquids and juices. This is more similar to the Raimi we recently witnessed in Drag Me To Hell.

The Devil's Rejects (2005)

Man. Where to start? First off, I do agree that this is much better than House of 1,000 Corpses. Zombie seemed to find a groove and carried it through with taut execution. That said, I also consider this a good flick without the juxtaposition of its predecessor. We got better production value, better gore, better acting, more of the humor I loved from the first installment. And on top of it all, I got to point out more than a few familiar faces from Zombie's Halloween remake, which I had seen prior to either of these movies. My only gripe would be the gratuitous posterior shots, but, hey, it's a cult horror movie. Great work!

House of 1,000 Corpses (2002)

When I received The Devil's Rejects a few weeks ago from Netflix, it dawned on me that I hadn't seen the prequel, House of 1,000 Corpses. I was told that it didn't really matter whether I had seen the first installment or not, but I decided to be a loyal movie patron and watch them in order. And this, despite having read a hundred blog posts favoring the second installment over the first.

Two things dawned on me in the first 15 minutes: (1) making a batch of Buffalo chicken wings for the movie was a bad idea, and (2) I had already seen the movie. Now, I'm not one to forget what I've seen and what I haven't. I have friends who constantly get halfway through a movie only to then realize, Oh, I've seen this before! But, like I said, this has never happened to me before. How it happened now, I don't know; but after 15 minutes it all came back to me, and I remembered every bit of it.

I almost turned it off, but decided to watch it again to see how it measured up for me years later. It was about the same as I remember it being: sick, twisted, and somehow tame. It seemed like all of the "disturbing" parts were purposely shot with a distorted, grainy wash, which for me took away from the movie in the same way that the other visual editing effects did. With the exception of The Wall, I've never seen visual effects (e.g. hue, saturation, etc.) I liked. (Is The Wall even considered a movie?) The movie redeemed itself, however, by being thoroughly laced with humor.

Looking forward to The Devil's Rejects! I hope it has the same sense of humor and loses the distracting visual transitions.

BOOK: One Rainy Night

With the advent of grad school it's been a while since I last read a horror novel. I think the last horror novel I read was Jack Ketchum's re-release of Cover, but I didn't get around to reviewing it on this site. For months now it's been a survey of the English literary canon from 1300 to present day, excluding postmodern horror. That's not to say it hasn't been fun--it's been a blast!--but it was time for a good modern horror read from one of my favorites: King, Ketchum, Keene, Laymon.

One Rainy Night, like most Laymon novels, places vivid, likable characters along a simple, harrowing plot. A warm black rain suddenly falls upon the town of Bixby, and everyone the rain touches begins to crave flesh and blood. If you're familiar with Laymon, you're familiar with his ability to write frenetic splatterpunk novels. This is a showcase of said talent. The pacing keeps the pages smoking, while your fingers ache from gripping the book too tightly.

The best part about this one is that it isn't just a typical "zombie" plot. Laymon throws a few other twists in as he always does and keeps the story interesting for just over 400 pages. For me, this is impressive. Especially with modern splatterpunk horror, it is difficult to keep the juice turned up and the reader's eyes unblinking for more than roughly 200 pages. That is, unless the reader enjoys long, detailed stories, laden with tons of exposition. (I'm one of them, but I've found that this trait is atypical among the majority of readers.)

If you're looking to burn a few hours with an exciting read, this is one for you. Although, I wouldn't recommend it for those who don't like explicit violence. If this is you, why are you on this blog?

District 9 (2009)

Wow. Despite high expectations, this one took me by surprise. I expected the same old alien revolt format, but writer-director Neill Blomkamptook threw some great twists in with his debut masterpiece. The movie is mostly documentary style in the beginning, but don't worry (I'm tired of these documentary style movies), it transitions into a standard POV movie. Plus, you hardly pay attention to the hand held camera style anyway since the movie pulls you in from the start.

I don't want to give anything away, so suffice it to say it's a must-see, especially in the theater. I know ticket prices are out of control, but this movie is worth the extra money. And it's a great date movie--though I didn't take ma femme. There's something for everyone: impressive violence and cuddly alien kids that seem to capture the heart of theatergoers everywhere. Prior to seeing this I can't remember the last time I experienced a refreshingly unique cinematic masterpiece.