Thursday, February 11, 2010

Born (2007)

Rating: F
This is a big day, folks! The first F of 2010 goes to Born, a movie about a bunch of stuff where people do things and say whatever comes to mind. Every time my brain tries to process everything that occurs in this movie, I get a migraine. Sure, it has Kane Hodder thrown into the mix, and his lines are mostly hilarious, but the horror icon is easily overlooked. The script is atrocious; certainly no one really wrote the nonsense that comes out of the characters' mouths. The CGI is a joke: laughable lightening bolts and a baby demon who mashes its Transformer-like face against the main girl's stomach. This baby demon also manages to pop out of her stomach via a belly-button hatch every now and then. At no point did I feel the movie had something worthwhile to offer. I really couldn't tell what it wanted to be. At times it was humorous, but for long stretches it took itself way too seriously for a movie that includes a death scene in which the heroine kills someone by scrubbing their back in the tub. And there are scenes in which the heroine is possessed by the demon baby in her womb that have to be seen to be believed.

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  1. i have absolutely no desire to see a movie like this. i just finished a really dumb book about a fetus that was controlling its mother while in utero. this reminds me of that. heh. keep up the good work!

  2. Wow, yeah, that's pretty much the plot, except this movie adds some more convoluted subplots on top of it all! Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Chris - Please check out my screenshot review of Born.

    I'm really proud of this one.

    You said it bro, this movie was completely laughable but so much fun to make fun of.

    Let me know what you think about my review.

  4. Jaded - Just checked out your review! To anyone who might be reading this post, go to the jaded reviewer's screenshot review now!