The Pack (2010)

The first twenty minutes are misleading, for the remaining sixty minutes offer up a run-of-the-mill mash-up of survival and creature-feature.  I am fully cognizant of the fact that, after the wave of High Tension, Frontiers, Martyrs, et al., I've come to expect too much from French horror, but the only moment that makes the movie worth watching (at least the first half) is a well-executed comedic moment that occurs as soon as our protagonist arrives at the backwoods saloon.  I watched this little clip repeatedly.  But, sadly, it wasn't enough to redeem the film from mediocrity.  And, strangely enough, the film seems to pride itself on its violence, yet it is quite tame.  Overall, it's skippable; the short segment I'm referring to as hilarious, however, is required (I'm sure it is or will be on YouTube).

Trouble Every Day (2001)

Rating: B-
Having seen such French delicacies as Them (2007), Frontiers (2007), Inside (2007), and (of course) Martyrs (2008), I was interested to see how French horror stacked up at the beginning of the last decade. A bit of searching around led to Trouble Every Day, and when I saw Béatrice Dalle listed in the cast, I didn't hesitate. If you thought Dalle was sinister in Inside, I urge you to check her out in this one. Zut Alors!

Unfortunately, Dalle's superb execution of a dangerously troubled woman doesn't save the film as a whole. The pace is reminiscent of In My Skin (2002); nothing happens until fifty-eight minutes have dragged by. And, yeah, those minutes drag because the film is creating a mood of discomfort while slowly leading to the big shock scenes; but the lead-up was severely damaged in that we are shown exactly what everything will culminate to at roughly the twenty-five minute mark. Not that I was hoping for some big twist or anything, but it's kind of hard to enjoy a slow-burn when you're shown at the beginning what it all leads to.

I still give it a B- not just on merit of Dalle, but also because the film showcased an ability to perfectly mix hyper-realism, splatter, and discomfort evinced in more recent French fare. There were only two scenes that put the film in the horror genre, and those two scenes were strong, hinting at what was to come. Had I watched Trouble Every Day before all the others, I might have been more impressed. Oh, well. I'm looking forward to whatever the French have in store for us this decade, wondering whether a movie will ever affect me the way Martyrs did.

Sheitan (2006)

Uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh??????????????? What?!

Cache (2005)

Fifteen minutes in I was sleeping like a baby. Obviously, a slow build with this one. I'll try to watch it tonight or tomorrow night. Anyone else seen this one yet? Does it pick up a little?

(Two days go by.)

Well, I just finished this proclaimed masterpiece, and I am left with nothing good to say. Perhaps this would've made a better book--the "visual" aspect of cinema was not utilized at all. Nothing happened save for constant dialogue, a few quick flashbacks, and an out-of-nowhere slicing (is this the "intense" moment alluded to by the comment below?).

It's hard to say this about a movie from Funny Games director Michael Haneke, but this is a severe disappointment not worth the time.

Calvaire (2005)

Finally, a disappointing French horror movie. Sure, it was shocking at times, but it seemed more interested in creating atmosphere than the brutal, bloody thriller it claimed to be. On the other hand it did have a couple of moments that left me scratching my head and wondering if I was totally missing something or not (e.g. the Piano-And-Penguin-Dancing scene). It's comforting to know that even the French are capable of making mundane, hillbilly horror.

Irreversible (2002)

Based on cinematography, direction, acting, and overall structure alone, this is a masterpiece. But I will never watch it again. Its depictions are so realistic, gritty, disturbing, I can hardly bear to think about it today. This is literally the most disturbing movie I've ever seen, including Martyrs. There were times when I had to look away for minutes at a time.

The first twenty minutes or so were hard to watch, not only because of some of the unnerving sights, but because of the camera flip-flopping all over the place. At one point I had to look away for a minute or so just to regain my sense of equilibrium. And throughout the movie the camera does some roller-coaster activity that sometimes heightens the calamity, and sometimes just makes your stomach lurch.

The best part about Irreversible is the philosophy behind the story: the future is already written and that preordained future is irreversible. If you've read other reviews, you probably know that it works in reverse-chronological order; this structure adds weight to the philosophy by showing you the future first, which makes for an intriguing experience, but it causes the film to haunt you even more without the typical closure delivered at the end of a revenge movie.

For me, this concerned a difficult subject matter that I am extremely sensitive to. View at your own discretion.

In My Skin (2002)

Mon dieu! Once again, an over-the-top, ultra-realistic French (horror?) movie. Among the rest of the French extremism movies I've seen recently, this is at the bottom of the list, yet it stands alone and has its own tone. And that tone is disturbing to the point that I realized I had spent an hour and a half sitting on the edge of the couch with my mouth hanging wide open.

Frontiers (2007)

Think Texas Chainsaw Massacre mixed with Hostel, but with superb cinematography, acting, lighting, pacing, sound, and gore, as only the French seem to be able to master in the horror genre. Frontiers continues the trend of brutal French horror with high production value; and this after having seen High Tension, Martyrs, and Inside, among others. When it comes to a bloody good time, this movie is the guest of honor.

Inside (2007)

I think I've said it before, but I'll say it again: the French are creating a new wave of horror recently. In fact, critics are calling this wave New French Extremism, which is more than fitting for Inside. Having recently watched Martyrs, I wasn't sure if Inside would even affect me, but I quickly forgot about Martyrs and was sucked into a new hellish world. This movie took the pacing and brutality of High Tension and ramped it up a few notches higher.

It's amazing how effortlessly the French filmmakers are able to spend the first fifteen minutes or so laying down some exposition and then maintain intense action and pacing for the remaining seventy-five minutes or so. Typically when this structure is employed, the audience either grows numb to the gore or just plain tired of the heightened action sequences back-to-back, but, once again, Inside starts off with a creepy stalker standing outside and then pushes the envelope further and further until a repulsive climax that will leave you saying no! no! no! But it will also leave extreme horror movie buffs satisfied (you sickos!).

I'm trying to determine which movie was more disturbing: Inside or Martyrs ...

Martyrs (2008)

Not sure how to review this one! It's an intense movie split into three acts, but to review all three acts would be to give the movie away. As such, I will attempt to be as evasive as possible. Once again, the only way to experience the full effect of this horror flick is to forgo reading synopses and watching trailers. Just go in cold, let it ruin you, and deal with it.

The first act was amazing. It was entertaining, intense, gory, fast-paced; everything about the first act screamed high production value, the right choice of actors and actresses, and skilled directing. Both the visuals and the sounds were heightened for our viewing pleasure. Truthfully, the movie could have ended with a little twist at the 45-minute mark and I would've been a happy camper. But it didn't.

In order to keep from ruining it for those who read reviews without watching the movie first, I'll refrain from saying anything about acts two and three.

If you've read anything about this movie, you've probably read that the movie left people stunned, numb, low, and speechless. Well, it's true. When this movie ended, I looked at my friend with whom I watched it and saw a pallid, silent figure who resembled the otherwise jocund hockey fanatic. We both agreed that the second act was a bit too long (i.e. too hard to watch, especially for that length of time) and the third act was just outright bizarre!

Today I feel as though I'm floating through space while my subconscious performs the temporal motions of my usual life. I can't decide if I liked the movie as a whole or not. As I've said, the first act was an A+, but combined with the rest of the movie, I just don't know. It definitely messed with me, which is why I watch horror movies to begin with, but I don't know if I wanted these particular emotions stimulated (or, rather, singed off!).

This is not a movie for everyone, but if you love being pulled down into the dark recesses of misanthropy, by all means, throw this DVD into the player, heat up the Jiffy Pop, and enjoy.

Them (2007)

Synopsis: A couple is toyed with at their secluded home. (Seriously, this is the kind of synopsis I wish they'd start writing for movies. Even the terse synopses on Netflix say too much. And don't even get me started on trailers.)

Like(s): Olivia Bonamy, first and foremost. The use of sound--make sure you turn the volume up--really kept me guessing! The film gripped me with its heightened suspense and threatened my life until it was over. Though I enjoyed The Strangers, I have to head over to I Like Horror Movies and tell Carl that I'm casting my ballot for Them.

Dislike(s): If I told you, I'd be handing out spoilers. Suffice it to say the one thing I disliked by no means took away from the quality of this movie.

Candidate For Omission: No.

Also Try: The Strangers, High Tension, Funny Games, Eden Lake.

Sombre (1998)

It seems that I'm doomed to watch one movie per decade that leaves me mystified, frustrated, bewildered--well, just plain stumped! As a kid, I was rendered speechless (an amazing feat if you knew me as a child) by Fantasia. As a teenager, I discovered Mulholland Drive by David Lynch. I remember the DVD came with an insert that listed 10 clues to look for in order to unlock the mystery of the movie...I'm still looking for a reasonable explanation. Now, in my 20's, I have discovered this decade's puzzling movie. A little French film called Sombre.

The plot is about a serial killer who drives around France strangling prostitutes. This is one of those films that aims to stand out as a brilliant work of art, but if this is art, I'm Michelangelo. In French, sombre means dark, which describes both the mood and the lighting of this movie. The first 50 minutes are so poorly lit I could barely see anything, save for maybe a pinhole of light, an arm here and there, some guy's hair blowing in the wind, and so on. Aside from poor lighting, the movie is reminiscent of Mulholland Drive in its dreamlike scene changes that are supposed to build mystery and suspense, but actually weighted my eyelids with sleep. After an hour of all this dreadful camerawork, and maybe four lines of dialogue, I fell asleep.

Upon waking, I skipped back to where I left off and witnessed some of the thinnest character development I've ever experienced. The serial killer encounters two sisters who find him peculiar, but instead of yielding to their women's intuition, they continue to hang out with him. None of their actions have any rationale. Finally, I just turned it off, and I hardly ever turn a movie off before it's over. I have the same policy on books: Always finish what you've started.

If the point of Sombre is to make its audience feel the way a confused, maniacal serial killer feels, it succeeds. As far as I can tell, it's a misogynistic film, portraying women as weak and feeble-minded.

Review Soundtrack:
August Burns Red - "The Blinding Light"
Morphine - "The Night"

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High Tension (2005)

After seeing Alexandre Aja's Mirrors, I wasn't sure if I wanted to put myself through High Tension, a French film originally released in 2003 as Haute Tension, but, having seen Aja's brilliant remake of The Hills Have Eyes, I took the chance and reaped the rewards. As the name entails, high tension is definitely achieved through the proficient use of camerawork, lighting, and sound.

Everything from the labored breathing of the killer to the French version of the Jeepers Creepers truck works to intensify feelings of dread. In some scenes, you can almost feel the characters' sweat, tears, and heartbeats as your own.

Usually, I don't read other reviews before writing my own, but I was so elated by this movie, curiosity got the better of me. Expecting to read high praises, I was distraught to find that this film didn't do so well here in the U.S., but for reasons that were either pesky or that proved naiveté. Suggestion: Immediately stop reading a review if it complains about bad dubbing on a foreign film. WATCH THE FILM IN ITS NATIVE LANGUAGE AND USE SUBS! Why wouldn't you do that? This ensures that you get the original audio track, capturing the characters' true emotions.

I loved how tense this movie felt, especially throughout the murders in the house; the sound effects perfectly captured the grittiness of the gore. I'm not sure what the R-rated version cuts out, but the Unrated version has a graphic scene where the father's head is wedged in between two stairway posts and then decapitated with a bookshelf. Aja starts there and then continues to teach a lesson in gore.

* Deadly Spoilers Ahead *

The main problem people had with the film was its so-called impossible twist. I, too, questioned a few things and ended up watching some of the movie over again, which answered all of my questions. So, I'm guessing that the people who feel the plot is too far-fetched either (a) didn't watch the movie a second time, (b) absolutely hated Identity, (c) have no imagination, or (d) all of the above. Like Identity, some of the movie takes place inside the actual antagonist's mind. The first scene I questioned when the twist hit the screen, was the very beginning when the "guy" is using the severed head and then tosses it on the ground. I thought, now how would that be possible if Marie was in the car with Alex? Re-watching the scene, I found the answer. Marie wakes up just after it happens, and the head is not on the ground anymore once they reach the path. This was risky in keeping the twist safe, but I just figured he came back and disposed of it.

Of the people who get the split personality mechanism, some still question why the murderous personality was male. I think this is blatantly pointed out with Marie's lesbianism and obsession with Alex, who is heterosexual.

Not only did the twist warp my mind, it explained all of the problems I had with the movie initially. It seemed too far-fetched that Marie kept escaping the killer as she did. Specifically, I was appalled that Aja would really think it was believable when Marie wiped the sink to make it look like no one had been there, and then the killer went directly to checking the sink. In another scene, we find that Marie has not checked the gun for bullets. After the whole sink cene, I felt that Marie was too meticulous to have not checked the gun first, but, like I said, the twist allowed me to scratch these items off of my "far-fetched" list.

Even with the big twist out in the open, Aja still delivers one brutal finale. In my opinion, the whole sequence of Marie's split personality taunting Alex while she's trapped in the innocent guy's car is the most intense scene in the movie. The image of Alex's face being splattered with blood, while Marie/split personality saws through the windshield and into the innocent drivers abdomen, will live with me forever.

If you are one of the people who feels the twist was impossible, please re-watch the movie and then send me your thoughts. Also, you might want to go into the Special Features and listen to the director's commentary. If you still feel cheated/insulted, I question the reason you watch horror movies. High Tension does exactly what we want a horror movie to do: toy with us; surprise us; manipulate us; give us something we can enjoy a second time around.

High Tension expels predictability through fresh plot twists and then blows the minds of its audience.

Review Soundtrack:
Don Caballero - "I'm Goofballs For Bozzo Jazz"
All That Remains - "Two Weeks"
Norma Jean - "Vipers, Snakes, and Actors"
Opeth - "Bleak"
Between the Buried and Me - "Camilla Rhodes"
Phish - "Meat"

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13 Tzameti (2005)

This French film noir caught me completely off guard. In fact, there were moments when I realized I was holding my breath and not blinking. Never have I been so anxious at the sight of a light bulb!

In 13 Tzameti, a poor young man named Sébastien is hired to help repair the roof of a man who ends up dying of an overdose. Just before his death, a letter with instructions was mailed to him and ends up in the hands of our young protagonist. With Sébastien's family struggling for money, and having overheard enough to ascertain that following the instructions might lead to a payoff, he begins following the instructions. Little does he know the bleak situation he is about to find himself in.

Before reading any further, I would like to strongly urge you to stop here if you haven't seen the movie. Everything you've read so far is everything I knew about the movie before I watched it, and I can say that it definitely enhanced the film's effect on me.

During the first ten to fifteen minutes I felt bewildered, trying to understand what I was seeing. People are popping up and spying on the house Sébastien is working on. The old man is staggering around on the beach in a stupor. Some guy is snapping closeups of the mailbox as the old man who was staggering around minutes ago retrieves the mail. As Sébastien is working on the roof, he begins overhearing bits and pieces of conversation and realizes that this old man has gotten into something that is both treacherous and rewarding. By the time the old man locks himself in the bathroom and dies of an overdose (I think), the story began to snap in place and my interest was definitely peaked.

Seeking adventure, excitement, fame, Sébastien takes the letter and steps into the old man's place. Again, the bewilderment starts up, just as in the beginning of the movie. It's at this point I realized the movie is doing a spectacular job of making me feel the way Sébastien does. He goes to a hotel that has been paid for already, receives an anonymous phone call with further instructions, and then ends up on a train. Next, he is picked up by another mystery man and dropped off in the middle of nowhere. As he stands there a car finally pulls up and flashes a number at him (13). Sébastien reaches into his coat and removes the same piece of material, with the same number printed on it, and holds it up. Then, they're off to who knows where. All the while, Sébastien is being followed by what seem to be good guys, or some authority of sorts.

At this point, I'm sitting straight up in my chair, madly wondering what is about to happen to Sébastien.

Confused, and a tad worried, Sébastien finds himself in the middle of some game, where his life is being used to entertain and thrill wealthy gamblers. The game begins with all thirteen "players" standing in a circle. They each load a revolver with a single bullet, spin the barrel over and over, and then aim at the person in front of them. They are forced to stare up at a single light bulb and wait for it to illuminate. As soon as it flicks on, they are to pull the trigger. I can't tell you how dismal, how bleak, how morose, this scene was. Everything played right for the movie to execute the feeling of despair and moral ambiguity for Sébastien.

After the first round, a few bodies are discarded, and the players retire to a break room. Most of the players (perhaps all of them) have done this before and use drugs and alcohol to get through it. Sébastien chooses to stay sober, shocked and appalled by what is happening around him. Meanwhile, the gamblers who have now lost their players work to place bets on remaining players.

As the rounds continue, the number of bullets placed in the chamber increases, and eventually there are only two players left: Sébastien and some guy whose name I cannot remember. We'll call him Guy, which happens to be French anyway! So, Sébastien and Guy face off in the "duel." The film really got me on the duel part. The hammer on each gun drops and produces nothing, I exhale and think it's over, but the moderator calls for two bullets to be added to each gun. Once again, the movie fulfilled its intention to flood me with Sébastien's dread.

I guess I expected the ending that the movie gave us. All along everything about it exuded a funereal ambiance, not only with what was happening to the characters, but with it being black-and-white as well. Sébastien manages to escape with his cut of the money, which I didn't expect. I thought the movie was going to go the route of the wealthy men killing him and getting their money back, but I guess that was too obvious. Instead, he is able to send money to his impoverished family and almost escape. Instead, he is killed later on a train by Guy's brother, who happened to be the one gambling on Guy's life during the game.

A brilliant film, 13 Tzameti; artistic, creative, harrowing. I found it difficult to write a review that would serve this movie half the justice watching it would. Its story will haunt me forever.