Crawl (2011)

Meandering.

The Collection (2012)

Every once in a while a movie comes around that takes audiences by surprise.

This is not one of them.

Girls Against Boys (2012)

Boring and difficult to take seriously.

The Barrens (2012)

Review forthcoming.

Rating: 2/5

Munger Road (2011)

Overall, I thought Munger Road was rather entertaining, if amateur.  Sure, it's pretty much a retread of two types of movie: teenagers horseplaying and falling prey; and a cop chasing a long-time nemesis--but it still managed to hook me for a pleasant evening of independent horror film.  So go out there and support independent film   

The plot is pretty standard, with some interesting variations.  A group of teens (two couples) decide to take their chances by visiting the notorious, haunted Munger Road on  the outskirts of their city, in the middle of the night.  At the same time, we follow a police story about an equally notorious killer who has just escaped.  I couldn't help but think of Halloween with this killer-on-the-loose as Michael, and the cop as Dr. Loomis.  In any case, the oscillation between the two intervening plots helps keep the pacing up and the story interesting.

At first I thought the perspective was going to stay predominantly through the teens' handheld camera, but, luckily, we stay in the omnipresent third-person camera most of the time.  The handheld camera is used a couple of times for some nice little horror-film antics, though. 

The acting was above average for an indie horror flick.  I enjoyed the genuine fun everyone on set seemed to be having with their roles and interactions.

So, again, it's a retread of movies we've seen before.  But, with above-average acting and some nice thrills, it is worth a watch.

Rating: 3/5

Chained (2012)

Review forthcoming.

Rating: 4/5

The Tall Man (2012)

I wonder if I would've enjoyed The Tall Man more if I hadn't thought it had something to do with Phantasm.  Perhaps the is the first case where eschewing trailers, synopses, etc. backfired, because I kept waiting for something supernatural: for the crazy spiked orb to appear; for the funeral director; for grave-robbing; for something that either signaled to me that this was a remake or the fifth installment of the quadrilogy.  In the end, I realized that this didn't really have anything to do with Phantasm other than the fact that there was a character named The Tall Man.

Aside from my own self-imposed confusions and preconceptions, the plot takes three distinct turns, all of which are welcome individually and collectively.  It begins as a straightforward suspense-thriller about a small ex-mining town, called Cold Rock, in Washington state, where children are disappearing.  The town suspects a figure known as The Tall Man.  Then the film turns into a psychological thriller; and finally into a dramatic moral-dilemma piece.  I won't give anything away by expanding on any of these genres, but I will say that Pascal Laugier (notorious writer-director of Martyrs) did a great job showcasing his talents as a storyteller.

Most notable, visually, is the locale used for the film.  One really feels the gloom and inescapable despair of the deteriorated small-town, U. S. A.  I've seen plenty of films with this setting, but Laugier gives us a beautiful depiction, using all sorts of details: children playing card games atop torn-out vehicle bench seats, for one example.  And there's domestic drama just as we see on episodes of Cops!  Transition shots of natural Washington state are not only breathtaking but also effective at imbibing a sense of isolation on the audience.

I am not a Jessica Biel fan--never have been, not even in the Texas Chainsaw remake; not even in Seventh Heaven.  But Biel shines brightly in The Tall Man.  I was blown away by her acting.  And her looks weren't used at all (as in Texas Chainsaw) to make up for bland acting.  In fact, she's pale and ratty and dressed in unflattering clothing pretty much the entire time.  All other characters were mere flora and fauna, dismissible--well--solely there to support Biel's role.

Though this film has horror elements, you could watch it with anyone who loves suspense-thrillers, as it never really strays too far into mystical horror elements.  But it's still welcome for horror fans as a highly entertaining piece of cinema.  Here's to Pascal Laugier and Jessica Biel for delivering something of worth to the plethora of films out there.

Rating: 4/5

The Victim (2011)

Unless you're like me and you have undertaken a responsibility to watch any and every horror movie that hits the shelves, you can probably skip The Victim and be perfectly fine with your life.  It's not that it's a bad film; it just doesn't deliver anything worth watching.  There were several times when I contemplated turning it off and doing something more useful, but I had awaited the BluRay from Netflix long enough to warrant sticking it out and hoping for the best.  And though there was never really any payoff, there were plenty of little moments of charm (even if they weren't intended the way I took them) that keep me going to the end.

The plot is fairly simple, as is the cast and setting.  Two cops are engaging in illicit activities with a couple of strippers out in the middle of wooded nowhere.  When things take a wrong turn, one of the strippers, wearing heeled boots, is able to outrun two in-shape cops and make it to a little cabin where a man seeking solitude, and (as we find out) reformation from his old ways, is there to take her in and help with the situation.  So, yeah, pretty simple setup.  And, again, sort of like a simple Troma plot (e.g. Mother's Day, where a group of criminals barge in on a group of friends), the setup and action takes place quickly, leaving the remainder of the film to be creative with sparse materials.  So, we get the usual format of twisted cop versus civilian, and the tables turn a couple times, etc.  Unfortunately the space for creativity is filled in with plenty of runtime padding, especially the opening credits.  Oh, and by the way, this is apparently based on a true story.

As I said, the plot is as simple as the cast and the setting.  It's a very small cast--and, in fact, the end credits spend a lot of time saluting the crew more so than the cast, which was pretty cool.  Each crew member, down to the gaffer, is presented in full-screen with his or her name and role, one at a time.  I think this was a nice token of appreciation on part of, I'm assuming, writer-director-actor Michael Biehn.  And I can't fault the film for its setting either, as some of my favorite movies take place entirely in the woods and at a cabin (Evil Dead!).  But, again with the padding: the sequences of driving around!  Yes, we get that they are in the middle of nowhere!  And why were the SUV's headlights off most of the time, in the woods, in the middle of the night?

The acting was mostly atrocious, especially between Michael Biehn and real-life spouse Jennifer Blanc.  For people who are actually married, their on-screen interaction was rigid, forced, unnatural.  Perhaps being married was the problem?  But I've seen better interaction (Courtney Cox and David Arquette, even after all their personal, media-ridiculed shenanigans) between married couples on-screen.  In any case, the dialogue between these two was painful to watch.  Which eventually led me back to thinking that this was deliberate.  That the film really was supposed to be a cheesy throwback.  What would've helped is if there had been more of the fan-favorite Danielle Harris, who only really appears in flashbacks.  Overall, it seemed to me that Ryan Honey was having the most fun with his role.

Despite its flaws--the padding, the poor dialogue, the overly simple and reused setup--The Victim does deliver some amusing elements.  Michael Biehn's macho-coolguy demeanor was entertaining.  There's a moment when he starts yelling at Jennifer Blanc to "stop yelling at me" when she wasn't really yelling at all.  It was kind of amusing in that I felt I got a glimpse at what arguments and other forms of domestic bickering are like for the two.  In the end, though, the most irritating part of my experience was my constant wondering about what this film was trying to be.  At times it felt like an homage to the old Troma films; at other times it felt like it was blatantly cheesy; but still, at other times I could tell it was taking itself way too seriously.  There was some gratuitous use of Blanc and Harris that will probably, unfortunately, be the only reason most people watch the movie (sort of like The Brown Bunny).

Rating: 2/5

The Loved Ones (2009)

Typically I patiently await my Netflix rentals, no matter if they actually ship on time or if they go into the limbo of short-wait, long-wait, unavailable, or otherwise unknown release/ship date.  But when it comes to movies from the Outback (or from France) I can't wait.  They have simply been too good for me to pass up.  So, as soon as I saw that The Loved Ones indeed did not ship the day before its projected release, I promptly removed it from my queue altogether and secured a rental at the local grocery through Redbox.  Again, something I rarely feel compelled to do, especially when I know the genre is in the torture vein--something I don't care that much for, no matter how well done.  All this to say, my expectations were high, and by the time I got the movie started I silently demanded it to deliver.

And boy did it deliver!  From Lake Mungo to The Clinic to The Loved Ones, these Aussies know how to make a movie!  Everything is evenly balanced: pacing, lighting, thrills, character chemistry, backstory, and so on.  Going into it, I knew the basic plot: an obsessed woman kidnaps her prom date and tortures him like crazy.  And, well, this is mostly true, though if you want to quibble in semantics it's not technically what happens.  Which is nice, because as soon as the action begins (and it begins fairly early) there's a nice little twist on the presumed plot.  But then I saw the running time was pretty early in the film, and I worried that it would degrade into trashy, mindless torture for the duration.  And while it pretty much does deliver a lot of trashy torture, the movie swings back and forth from setting to setting, all in linear time, to show how his (the captive's) mother and girlfriend are coping with the disappearance; his hilariously awkward buddy and his goth prom date; and a police officer who is put on the case to find him.  All of the performances are strong enough to keep the film alive and entertaining.

Speaking of his hilariously awkward buddy and his goth prom date, this film dishes out black humor from start to finish.  The first glimpse of the tone this film would take while delivering its vicious torture sequences was when the captor stops by a chicken place to pickup dinner!  I figured this would be a one-off little gag, but it is the first of a series of hilarious moments of black humor that I want to watch again and again, making this not only a great film to watch alone; but also a great film to watch with a group.

Now, let's talk about our antagonist, Lola (played by Robin McLeavy).  Wow.  What a performance.  She is twisted, evil, relentless--yet brilliant, perfect, and mesmerizing.  I always welcome a gender twist on this genre, and I believe this might be the best performance I've seen to date.  McLeavy's first couple appearances on-screen are nothing if not cliché, so again I worried that this film would fall into the pit of dross with countless other films.  On the contrary, Lola shines as many different personalities.  At first, you think she's a little girl trapped in a woman's body, depending on her daddy to make her dreams come true--so, a sort of shy innocence that will endure throughout the film.  But you quickly find that she has a commanding, aggressive, violent bent, in addition to some illicit father-daughter propensities.  To sum it up, this is one evil femme fatale who stands apart from all others I've seen (on-screen and in real life).

So, as if it weren't enough for me to hear two clips of Parkway Drive's music a couple times, The Loved Ones pays strong homages to a classic of modern horror, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.  In the end, I was thoroughly entertained and walked away with a great cinematic experience.  If you even remotely enjoy the torture genre (and no, this is not torture-porn), you're going to welcome The Loved Ones with open arms.  If you like horror movies in general and you're interested to see what these Aussie's have done with a genre that is running out of gas, you're going to be thrilled with this film.  And if you're worried that this is another take on remaking Prom Night, put it out of your mind--only about 3 minutes of the film take place within the venue of the prom (the goings on just outside, however, are utilized aplenty and are more than welcome).  Here's to yet another treat from the land down under!

Rating: 4/5

Kill List (2011)

Here's one of those nice little films that divides a community into 2 schools: the lovers and the haters.  Of course, there's always the gray space between the two schools; and in my usual must-be-accepted-by-everyone way, I currently exist in this gray space.  Chalk it up to being a victim of the hype machine, but I believe there's more to it than that.  Perhaps I'll like it better the second time around--but, then again, I'm not so sure, being that my major reasons for not loving this movie stem from the "effects" (not to be confused with FX) that are supposed to make the movie great on a first viewing, especially a cold viewing.

Let's get the elements that folks generally agree on out of the way.  First: yes, the film is beautifully shot.  Not as in breathtaking scenery and colors; but as in composition and tone.  The photography is perfect for this type of morose, gritty film.  At times claustrophobic and never flinching from a situation, there's a lot to love in the visual aesthetics of Kill List.  Second: the actors, too, bring their A game, especially the stunning MyAnna Buring, a Swedish actress whom I kept thinking was Kelly Rippa and whom I totally forgot about being in The Descent.  The tension between the two couples in the beginning section of the film is genuine and highly laudable.  And, finally, third: said beginning portion of the film centers around a dinner scene between two couples, which was confusing to the point of securing my attention but not losing me.  I've read some reviewers who were put off by the thick accents and the general confusion of the opening, but I maintain that this works in the film's favor.

Sadly, the end of the opening dinner party scene is exactly, for me, where the film stopped being interesting and became an audience-exercise in oversight and grace.  The main character's friend's girlfriend goes into the bathroom and leaves a marking on the wall.  The same marking that's on the cover art, the BluRay menu, and just about all the other marketing for the film.  I hate this with a passion!  It's why I avoid trailers and posters as much as possible.  The disc menus are probably the worst at giving away major points of any movie.  Because by this point we understand that this is some sort of cult or religious film.  If you don't and I just "ruined" the movie for you, I sincerely apologize.  But I feel fairly confident that by the end of the movie, after the "big reveal" I will not have spoiled anything.  Anyway, back to the scene in question.  This little sequence with the writing on the bathroom wall was the first of many times that I asked, what is the point?

At that point, the plot is established that the main character and his partner will team up to carry out some more hits on a list of individuals.  As an aside I will say that I am a sucker for the poetic setup of dividing the movie's parts with titles--I really like this.  What happens during the course of their hits, however, is a constant recurrence of the targets saying thank-you to the main character.  Like the sign on the bathroom wall, this seemed like forced suspense.  As in, let's just throw this in to add some suspense for the audience.  The effect, in practice, however, was lame.  Now, it could have worked had they not given us the bathroom signing scene in which the main character is not present.  Because all of these thank-yous could've been chalked up to the main character's mental breakdown.  Why not just have the main character find the marking?  Thus again I harken back to the argument about the fact that we already get this being a whole conspiracy/cult setup.  With the very first thank-you it is pretty clear that, oh, okay, they're all in on this.  Each time this happened I found myself asking, what is the point?

And then the ending.  Ah, this graceful ending to a film we've already figured out.  (I'll have to talk around this a bit so as not to spoil anything, so forgive the vagueness.)  So, as suspected Kill List takes a departure from a violent mystery/thriller setup.  And there's a harrowing moment at the very end, entitled "The Hunchback," that I will admit is quite disturbing and shocking.  In fact, I can't help but feel that the filmmakers agreed that the film didn't yield much of an effect due to letting on too early and too overtly about the true story, so they decided to throw in one last shock.  But, wait!  Is this even really a shock?  I mean, perhaps the actual depiction of the event-in-question is; but anyone who reads into an early, seemingly misplaced scene, will not be completely shocked as the film alludes to, let's say, the results of the event.  Plus, as you might have guessed, this is the biggest moment in which I asked myself, what is the point?

Thus my final assessment is that the film does too much with the story.  It's an enjoyable (I use this word in the context of a horror blog, mind you) movie to watch, but it's irritating to think about at all.  So don't analyse it, you say.  Well, that's a bit difficult when the film establishes itself as a mystery from the start.  Hopefully it will hold up on a subsequent watch.  There's a section thrown in during a moment I've already referenced, in which some character (MyAnna Buring, I assume) speaks in Swedish for a bit.  Perhaps I need to go back and turn on subs or use an iPhone app to translate it for me.  Maybe, just maybe, this little nugget is the key, encrypted in Swedish, that will unlock the film's true pleasures.  If not, I'm afraid I'll be in the same boat, rocking back and forth in the gray space between love and hate.

Cold Fish (2010)

Like a lot of Asian horror films, this one was about one hour too long. Had that been trimmed, I probably would've walked away more satisfied. As it is, I'm just sort of indifferent to the film, nothing really stuck with me except my impatience for the thing to be over. It's your typical good-guy-gets-bullied-and-caught-up-in-the-wrong-crowd plot, and it seems the movie was made more to make gratuitous use of Megumi Kagurazaka that anything else. So, if you're in the mood for a crime drama wrapped in typical black humor, this great. But, then again, I guess I have to be thankful that I watched a J-horror flick sans ghosts!

Malevolence (2004)

Having watched Bereavement first, i.e. out of chronological order, I wondered how the experience would be. But it was hardly a factor; I probably could've watched them in either sequence with the same effect because the "big reveal" isn't so grand whether you know or not. There's more focus on the composition of shots, the coldness of kills, and the score. I didn't catch this with Bereavement as much, but in Malevolence Stevan Mena is essentially recreating Carpenter's Halloween. And the crazy thing is that, for me, it isn't off-putting. I quite enjoyed watching Mena work with Carpenter's materials: pillow case/mask, pulsing, stinging score, nondescript mechanic's jumpsuit, and so on. So, in sum, the movie as a whole is average, but as an homage to Halloween it is highly enjoyable.

Saw: The Final Chapter (2010)

Rating: D+
Experience Vitals: Netflix DVD.

I'm typically a bit forgiving with the Saw franchise because, argue if you will, it's been a pretty solid long-running franchise. Watch the first seven offerings of either Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street and I think it would be clear that the Saw films have remained comparatively strong. (Here come the pivotal conjunction!) But, that being said, this finale is not only an ultimate flop but a decidedly strange flop.

Halfway through the opening sequence, I assumed it had to be a dream, but, no, it wasn't; and it became clear that the movie intended it to be real and not a device of trickery toward a dreamlike intimations either. Of course, one has to keep in mind that this is another movie made for 3D (which explains the blood-splattered opening credits and various in-your-face elements), but the polished, almost fantastic opening scene didn't fit with the rest of the movie or the entire franchise's modus operandi for that matter. Maybe I missed something, but this opener seemed like more of the recent stock of thrills for the sake of thrills, especially found in 3D movies (I'm thinking of the Final Destination finale, for example).

From there the movie is just bananas. It reminds me of a postmodernism novel where the structure is a plot assembled around a pastiche of events related and/or unrelated events, which, I mean, no problem. I can deal with that, but it has to be done well. Saw VII feels largely unorganized, and I think the filmmakers were hoping to chalk it up to nascent instability and thus more frenetic and hastier than usual. Fine, but these traps were far more aggrandized than previous traps. Tedious, intricate traps, requiring time and precision, and certainly more than a single person, given the miraculous amount of time in which the traps are staged--not to mention the number of people involved. One thing I did like--though it was given away way too early--was the Ocean's 11-style infiltration of the holding cell toward the end. And other similar stunts lent the filmmakers some credibility for thinking beyond 3D-centric goodies.

As for the trademark Saw twist, this one is a reach but I do think it ultimately works. As usual, they reach back into a previous installment and grope for a character to revive (I don't feel this is giving anything away at this point). And it's easy to question how Jigsaw juggled all of these associates, but, then again, the franchise has done an excellent job of reasserting Jigsaw's prowess and intellect, so, yeah, I think it works. is it mind-bending? No. Does it wrap up the franchise well? Cyclically, maybe, but above all, this is a thin, sloppy finale.

The Perfect Witness (2007)

Rating: B+
Experience Vitals: Netflix Instant for Wii.

The Perfect Witness is a small treasure I probably would have overlooked without Netflix's help, and by help I mean the fact that, for a year now, this movie has been shoved in my face every time I log into my account. So, finally, I took the bait, and I'm glad I did because Netflix was absolutely right on this suggestion. This is exactly the type of movie I like: psychological, but also smart (the two don't always seem to go together). It is a palatable execution of philosophical ideas without pretentiously eluding the viewer. Witness never tries to unnecessarily transcend itself. The tension steadily rises and the plot spirals out of control, all culminating in a superb ending. My attention never once waned. If for no other reason, watch The Perfect Witness to savor the performances of Wes Bentley and Mark Borkowski. Great suggestion, Netflix!

The Collector (2009)

Rating: C

Slaughter (2009)

Introducing the movie that broke the streak. That's right. Sadly, I can no longer say that every entry from this year's After Dark Horrorfest has satisfied. This is the first out of the six I've seen so far (From Within and Butterfly Effect III are the only two left now) that felt like an ADH movie. Not only was the acting rigid, the scares nonexistent, and details left unattended to--this movie was just plain boring. And on top of it all, Lola's (Lucy Holt) accent seriously grated on my nerves!

(1) Continuity / Attention to Detail - Call me picky, but there were blatant flaws with garments, blemishes, and restraints (e.g. shoestrings).

(2) Pacing - This movie had so may lulls it tugged on my eyelids and caused me to consider forgoing the rest of the movie more than a few times.

(3) Scares / Thrills / Suspense - You can't show pig carcasses and (sort of show) the removal of teeth and call it a horror movie. This movie seriously lacked suspense or legitimate scares--I never once felt the prick of horrific visual stimulation.

So, it is with great disappointment that I retire for the night having concluded a busy day of work and school with a lame snoozefest.

Family (2007)

Not so much a horror movie as it is a dark comedy. Well, truly it's just a comedy with creepy elements. George Wendt plays an excellent serial killer who suffers from delusions that we, the audience, get to enjoy! This film is filled with wit and twisted fun. It's definitely worth a watch, but don't expect anything close to MoH offerings such as Pelts, Imprint, or Cigarette Burns.

Audition (2000)

Synopsis: A formidable father sets up a mock movie audition in hopes of finding a new wife. His pick turns awry.

Like(s): Solid character development through slowly-paced drama. The last fifteen to twenty minutes are brutal. The female character is ever so creepy!

Dislike(s): Too slow despite the intended effect.

Candidate For Omission: No.

Also Try: Miike, Park, et al.

Vacancy 2: The First Cut (2008)

I had the pleasure of watching the first Vacancy movie in the theater, with my skittish wife clinging to me! Though Vacancy 2 didn't have lead actors like Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson, it was an enjoyable, and interesting, prequel. Like the first one, it was able to maintain a good level of suspense despite the audience already knowing everything about the operation. More than a few times, I was certain the movie was going in direction A and it went in direction B; I like it when that happens.

The best thing the movie had going for it was allowing the first couple--the just married couple--to go unscathed. This immediately raised questions for me as I expected the movie to jump right into the tormenting and killing. The two creepy motel guys even look at each other and say, "let's get to work," after the husband eagerly leaves the front desk. Once the couple peels out of the parking lot, we find that they are just making simple voyeur films at this point.

Next, we get this strange character who, unbeknownst to the motel guys, is a murderer and sets the whole operation we witness in Vacancy into motion. After the new snuff film operation is underway, the movie does a good job making you pull for the original two motel guys, but not for long. My attention began to wander during some of the narrow escape scenes with the three kids; it was rather mundane, but served its purpose.

Vacancy 2 is among the better prequels out there. It's not pulse-pounding suspense, and the gore level is moderate, but it definitely keeps you on edge in the way a realistic thriller does.

Review Soundtrack:
Unearth - "Bled Dry"
Ben Harper - "Burn One Down"
Opeth - "The Drapery Falls"

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Tenebrae (1982)

Well, I was supposed to get Demons 2 next, but it went into "short wait" at the last minute, so Netflix jumped ahead and shipped Tenebrae. I've gotta say: I'm glad they did. This wasn't very horrific--until the bloody ending--but actually more of a "who-did-it?" mystery. Cheers to Argento for a good piece of writing that made great use of red herrings, and kept me guessing until the last ten minutes.

That's not to say that it isn't dated, cheesy at times, and that it doesn't have much in the way of gore until the end, but the movie as a whole is pretty darn good. It actually reminded me a lot of a Richard Laymon novel. Which one? Well, all of them, really! Laymon is constantly throwing red herrings into the mix and killing cute, likeable little characters we have come to love relatively quickly. Similarly, Argento lured my favorite character--the hotel owner's daughter I believe (Maria?)--right into the belly of the beast. Tragic moment!

Famous writer's new bestseller unleashes a vicious serial killer who selects victims and leaves notes based on the writer's book. It's a plot we've seen/read before, but Argento's directing makes it enjoyable to watch. For the most part, the acting was solid. The detective and the literary agent were my favorite characters, based on acting. Both had uniqe personalities and looked comfortable as their characters on the screen.

So, overall, Tenebrae didn't blow my mind, but it was a pleasure to watch; good serial killer mystery. I'm looking forward to continuing with Argento giallos, including Inferno, Deep Red, and Opera. Oh yeah, and of course, Demons 2 and the like, once they start shipping.

Review Soundtrack:
Dave Matthews Band - "Too Much"
Primus - "John the Fisherman"
Sky Eats Airplane - "The Artificial"

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