The Human Centipede: First Sequence (2009)

Wow. I wavered on the fence with this one, but just fell into the liked-it yard. This movie is bizarre in more ways than the obvious plot premise: it is a collage of parodic horror irony combined with cringe-eliciting gags, a superb female lead (whose dialogue ends at the beginning of Act II), and one of the creepiest mad surgeons I've (possibly ever) seen on film. The overall tone came across, at least to me, as I understand that this plot is over-the-top, so I won't take myself too seriously; but, at the same time, I can deliver just enough raw edge to please 'mature' horror fans. And sure, there are some jarring oversights (GPS units? A secret ground-level door that the surgeon uses?), but overall this is a fine movie that goes from parodic camp to nihilism.

Autopsy (2008)

Though this is probably my least favorite so far (I've seen 5/8 from ADHIII now), it still didn't disappoint me. In fact, despite having seen this plot time and time again, Autopsy was fast, fun, and bizarre. Jessica Lowndes overshadowed perhaps everyone else on screen with an amazing Final Girl performance; it truly made me forget that I had seen this before.

I admit that I (a) forgot to take notes while watching the movie, (b) watched the movie very late, (c) am writing this post several days after watching the movie. So, perhaps you can read into this: I don't remember anything specific about the movie, but I enjoyed it overall. Usually I walk away from movies with a specific scene or quote that stuck with me, but in this case I have nothing. The best part about the flick is perhaps when we finally get to see the insane "human" life support system at the end.

Whenever I get to the point where I ascertain that the plot revolves around people being captured for torture, body parts, and so on, I immediately want to know why. Had this been The Brøken I would never have my explaination, but the plot behind the madness seemed to be that Robert Patrick (always creepy) was capturing people, tasting their spinal fluid (?), and using them to keep his wife alive. So, yeah. He has hired two brutes and a strange, buxom lunchlady (intone with Adam Sandler's song here) to govern the people that make their way to the pseudo-deserted hospital. In typical horror movie form, the film does a good job causing the audience to ask their television screen over and over, Why can't you people see that something is wrong here? But, to be fair, in Jamie Foxx's terms, we could "blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-a-co-hol!"

To sum it all up, it's not the best I've seen of the ADHIII so far, as I've said, but it's equally entertaining. You will be dazzled by Jessica Lowndes and perplexed by some of the movie's antics. But it is by no means worth missing.

Review Soundtrack:
This Or The Apocalypse - "We Are Debt"
Jamie Foxx - "Blame It"

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